cantthinkofatitle

sober

Thu, 23 May 2013 22:16:06 -0400

after being sober for a week and one day i noticed a few things, when i was using i always had to be out doing stuff with my friends getting high & not being home enough just always having to go. now that i’m sober i’m content with being with my family living my life how it’s suppose to be lived. because if you’re constantly going out with your friends getting drunk and high you’ll miss out on everything you’re life is suppose to made of, like going to you’re siblings games, or just watching movies with you;re family, doing your homework, getting a job, balancing out life. i love this, i love being able to be there for my siblings at their games, & being here with my family because their not gonna be here forever, when their gone i would regret not doing the little things with them, and not spending enough time with them, but thats all changing now i’m gonna spend every moment i get with them. my life doesn’t revolve around weed or getting drunk anymore, thats a waste of my life, like why am i even living if i all do is sit on my ass all day and smoke and not do shit, so when i’m losing friends i wont be missing out on anything because half the time their not even having fun, i gurantee that. man i love my life. it’s the little things that make me happy. i am NEVER going back to that shit of a life. we’ll all float on alright. <3 i’m so much happier sober than i was on a high for barely an hour then going right back to being depressed now i’m just living. weed and all that isn’t worth it. who ever doubts ill stay sober i’ll prove you wrong, bet i will :)) #staysober

my parents don't need to bury me

Thu, 16 May 2013 16:44:31 -0400

so the scariest thing of my life happened last week.. i was in a kitchen waiting for a friend n my head felt really lightheaded & i could feel myself start blacking out next thing you know i’m standing up asking did i just have a siezure? then the next thing i know i open my eyes to see daryann and dj standing over me asking if i was okay n i quickly stood up ran outside n just saw black dots everywhere couldnt see really then i started to see purple everything, i knew something was very wrong then everything was blue, i just rememebred being carried by dj & daryann telling me to close my eyes as im saying everythings purple, i’m really dizzy n what not i thought it was just signs of fainting, but my friend told me that, when i saw those colors it was my brain shutting down from not getting enough oxygen.. that really scared me because i know that its from all the drugs n things i did this past year n continued to do, i tried quitting a couple week earlier & i didn’t so God obviously gave me a huge wake up call so stop what i’m doing n come back to him, because the life i’m living ain’t worth my parents putting me in the ground. i never really was scared to hit a blunt or drink before but now i’m terrified.. i know for a fact i will NEVER touch anything like that again, nor will i be hanging around anyone that is either. i’m doing this for me so i can live a good life for my guy which is Jesus <3 i was made to love him not to love weed or drinking. i need to be good to my body n be healthy. i don’t want my friends to go through anything like that or anything worse because it’s not fun at all. i pray that it won’t happen again n i will give my worries up to God, he will take good care of me. half my friends wont understand but thats okay because i don’t expect you to, i want you guys to come with me to God, so come with me or don’t i dont really care as long as i have him n put faith in him my life is set. sober day 1

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Sun, 12 May 2013 17:34:40 -0400

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Sun, 12 May 2013 17:34:10 -0400

tell me how you really feel

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 21:37:07 -0400

I’ve had this empty feeling lately.. my heart feels broken & I’m missing my past, what happened to my twin? it all happened so fast I didn’t know what to do. we went from loving each other with all of our hearts, talking for hours in your bed about stuff we needed to get off our chests, holding each other tight, kisses everywhere, to I hate you, leave me the fuck alone, I trusted you.. I’m feeling the pain all over again. I have no interest in doing anything anymore, I like to be alone, but I hate it at the same time because my thoughts get the best of me. what’s the point in any of this.. I push everyone away.. I don’t mean to, it just happens.

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Tue, 12 Mar 2013 21:55:35 -0400

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Tue, 12 Mar 2013 21:54:13 -0400

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Tue, 12 Mar 2013 21:41:31 -0400

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Tue, 12 Mar 2013 21:40:53 -0400

Dear, love of my life

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 21:31:00 -0400

Like a drug i made you feel good, was there for you, but eventually like a drug, it wore off.. so you found a new girl to fill that void again because you are lonely, depressed, insecure & no direction & i am your trophy.. well i’m sorry but no more. i cannot sit here & be there for you & you let me down every time i trust you. you are a liar & a maniplulater who needs help. you will have no future if you go as you have been going, i will turn into you’re worst nightmare, i will get at you from the inside out so you can finally see yourself from other people’s view. you might even feel the pain you made others feel because of you’re own fault. you haven’t had good luck with relationships have you? maybe it;;s because of you. maybe it’s time for a change in your life, haven’t been happy? it’s cause you’re doing something terribly wrong. you only know form what you saw when you were younger & what you were taught. i’m sorry when we were together i didn’t help you like i should’ve.. but i’m also disspointed that you let me, as a freshman when i was with you do the things you let me do & encouraged when you should’ve known better. you knew deep down inside it was wrong, but if you were going down i was going down with you. you are selfish for that. i forgive you.

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Sun, 10 Mar 2013 14:53:37 -0400

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Sun, 10 Mar 2013 14:52:20 -0400

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Sun, 10 Mar 2013 14:52:00 -0400

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Sun, 10 Mar 2013 14:51:42 -0400

phil-is-my-cat: this is why i have trust issues

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 14:51:14 -0400

phil-is-my-cat:

this is why i have trust issues

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Sun, 10 Mar 2013 14:49:06 -0400

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Sun, 10 Mar 2013 14:48:29 -0400

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Sun, 10 Mar 2013 14:48:17 -0400

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Sun, 10 Mar 2013 14:44:11 -0400

graffeti: i wish i could draw so bad

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 11:38:19 -0400

graffeti:

i wish i could draw so bad